Home.

i know what you're thinking.

home? what could he possibly mean by HOME?

this homeless, homie who switches "homes" every few years has the audacity to post about "home" to such informed readers like ourselves?

preposterous!

and yes, i agree with you. i do. but hey, they say home is where the heart is - and before you assume my heart is without loyalty because it moves homes, let me say this: home to me is really a variety of experiences that i associate with a place, more than the place itself. honestly. everywhere i go, and for how much time i spend and the relationships i am able to develop, i start to develop a sense of comfort and feeling of "homeliness" so yes, while it is confusing, this is really how i am able to establish a "home" context.

the amount of times i have filled in different destinations for the disembarkation or arrival cards... bangkok to poughkeepsie to north chicago to chicago to fontainebleau to singapore to who knows where next... i sometimes wonder if i am in this odd system that shows with no-chance-of-fraud identities, which i believe quite a few of my friends are probably members of. least likely to actually forge documents but most likely to make mistakes on them because they are not quite sure how to fill in the form. like issuing country vs issuing embassy.

anyways, home is where i'm at right now. home being bangkok where i grew up. and where my parents still reside. a place that has seen some quite ridiculous turns of events over the past year and a half. from man's natural tendency for conflict to mother nature's natural tendencies... i am quite shaken, to say the least, by all that is happening. and i am here now just to feel my feet on its earth and to ask myself - what next?

i have never thought about moving back to bangkok specifically after travels have sent me half way across the world. however, being closer to "home" as i am using in this context, is important for so many reasons. yes, when i depart to get back to school in a couple of days, and am responding to friends asking me "when are you coming home?" i may in fact switch contexts, but that doesn't change how i perceive where i am and where i feel i'm going as well as what i am "leaving behind" - a part of my heart, always resting, at home.

and who better to greet you when you arrive home?